Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
