Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
