tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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