in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
