the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
