I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
