I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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