Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize