You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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