you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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