I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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