I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
