Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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