How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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