my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I cut my penus on the lid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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