Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
