too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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