Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
