Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
