in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
