they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
