Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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