After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
