Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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