I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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