Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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