He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
