Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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