i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
