I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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