Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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