She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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