wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
