I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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