we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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