I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
