I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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