OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize