I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.