How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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