First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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