I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
