I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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