I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
