i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
