im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
