i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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