my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
