Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
