The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
