we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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