She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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