Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
