ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
