Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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