just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
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Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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