so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
