Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
