There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
