I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
