gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
