I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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