just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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