I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
