About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Everything about him screamed your future.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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